Moforaja - Print: Vicevi

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Moforaja - Print: Vicevi - Page 5

Moforaja (http://moforaja.com/index.php)
- MOSTAR NEKAD I SAD (http://moforaja.com/board.php?boardid=6)
-- LISKALUCI (http://moforaja.com/board.php?boardid=8)
--- Vicevi (http://moforaja.com/threadid.php?threadid=29)

Posted by Monija on 03-11-2003 at 02:16:

priznajem

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Prijateljstvo se ne bira, ono biva, ko zna zbog cega, kao ljubav. -Mesa Selimovic

Posted by obrisana on 03-11-2003 at 18:11:

Lezi crnogorac na travi ispod drveta i zove zenu :
"Zeno donesi mi taj serum protiv zmijskog otrova"!
"Sto kuko, da te nije ujela "
"Jok.Evo je idje"

Posted by tana on 03-11-2003 at 19:11:

tri prasica

bila tri prasica i njohova majka. majka je posla u kupovine i kaze djeci: djeco, ja sada idem a vi se zakljucajte i nikom ne otvarajte. kada ja pozvonim lozinka ce biti "sisam sisu ja sam vasa majka". ako ne zna lozinku niposto ne otvarajte

haj reko ...... medjutim vuk cuo lozinku i kuca na vrata
kaze mali prasic: ko jeeee
kaze vuk: sisam sisu ja sam vasa majka
kaze prasic: sisas ti moj kurac, vidio sam te kroz spijun

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kad ce mostar mama?

Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 19:32:

Otac i tri sina dosli u Sarajevo!!!
Otac im kaze: Svi imaju ruzno misljenje o nama sandzaklijama. Mi
moramo dokazati da nismo takvi. Svi ste skole izucili, imate neko
zanimanje i hocu da sutra svi nadjete nekakav posao ali posten.
Svi cete mi sutra navece reci koliko ste zaradili ali samo
posteno.
Sutradan uvece svi podnose babi izvjestaj,nastariji sin kaze:
zaradio sam deset maraka.Otac mu kaze:"malo ali ako je
posteno... sta si radio?" "kopao kanale, sta drugo."
Srednji sin kaze :" ja sam zaradio 50 maraka.Ugovorio sam neki posao i uzeo
unaprijed dio novca." Na to najmladji sin izvadi hrpu novca. Babo se zgranu i kaze:" jesam li ti rekao da mora biti posteno? Mora da si
ukrao taj novac. Kako si ga zaradio?
Na to najmladji sin kaze: "napisao sam cedulju i stao pred Begovu dzamiju i prosio."
Babo ga pita:"a sta si napisao na cedulji?"
Najmladji sin odgovara: " NEDOSTAJE MI 10 MARAKA DA SE
VRATIM U SANDZAK"

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 19:41:

Dosao Cigo kod frizera:"Dobar dan, jel moze jedno sisanje"?
"Moze", kaze frizer: "kako zelite?"
"E pa vako komsija, sa jedne strane mi ostavi rupu velicine dlana,a sa druge 3-4 manje rupice. Pozadi repovi da mi budu neravni, a siske da mi idu ukoso i da budu rijetke..."
"Pa ne znam da li cu znati tako da vas osisam."
"A prosli put si znao, pizda ti materina!"

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 19:49:

Evo jos jedan kratki!

Mujo i Haso razapnu sator u Africi i zaspu.
Kad,usred noci kroz otvor proviri LAV
Haso, bolan!Sta je? Diz se, pocinju crtani!

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 19:54:

Rodila Fata jedanaesto musko dijete!!!
Kako mu ime?
Mujo!
A ostalima?
Mujo!
Pa bas svi Mujo?
SVI!
A kako ih razlikujes?
Po PREZIMENU!

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 20:03:

Sazno Mujo da ga Fata vara s Suljom pa je pita:
Je li bolji od mene u krevetu?
Nije.
Ima li duzi?
Nema.
Jeli mu deblji?
Nije.
Jesu li su mu veca jaja?
Nisu.
E, sto cu ga sutra zajebavati.

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 20:07:

Pita Suljo Muju:
Znas li sta je sreca u nesreci?
Sta?
Kad ti zena kaze da imas najveci racku u komsiluku!

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 20:14:

Pricaju Mujo i Suljo, i kare Mujo:
Eh, sto mi se ponovo ide u Pariz.
Na to ce Suljo zacudjeno: Ponovo? Zar si ti ikad bio u Parizu?
A Mujo ce na to:Ma nisam,ali mi se i juce islo

Dosta brate od mene,necu vise.

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Posted by Branto on 03-11-2003 at 20:34:

Jooooj moram jos jedan.
Pade mi na pamet Isma Tuce.Cesto ga se sjetim subotom i nedeljom ujutro.Ono kad je raji na Rondou pricao sta je najljepse u zivotu!!!
Naviti sat u 8h ujutro da zvoni.Pa ga samo ugasi i i i okrene se na drugu stranu,pokrije se po glavi i zaspe ...

I ovaj me sad vic na njega podsjeti:

Pitaju Amera sto je najbolja stvar na svijetu?
Amer:
Havaji,klopa,rat...
Pitaju Rusa sto je najbolja stvar na svijetu?
Rus:
Kamion votke ...
Pitaju Bosanca sto je najbolja stvar na svijetu?
Bosanac:
Kad sam ono bio u vojsci na Triglavu,zima'82./'83.,vani 20 ispod nule,3 ipo ujutro,ja sjedim kraj peci u kojoj gori vatra,grijem se,kad ulazi
desetar i kaze:
Mujo,odmah na strazu!
Bosanac: (a ja nisam Mujo)

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Posted by Monija on 03-12-2003 at 20:20:

ima dobrih....

http://winstars.free.fr/english/bush.html

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Prijateljstvo se ne bira, ono biva, ko zna zbog cega, kao ljubav. -Mesa Selimovic

Posted by nadia on 03-13-2003 at 00:35:

je li ono tito na prvoj slici

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\ | /

(@ @)

-----o00-(_)-00o-----

Posted by Monija on 03-13-2003 at 00:41:

jel' mislis na Donald-a Rumsfeld-a?

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Prijateljstvo se ne bira, ono biva, ko zna zbog cega, kao ljubav. -Mesa Selimovic

Posted by nadia on 03-13-2003 at 02:04:

jes titan svega mi

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(@ @)

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Posted by Kise on 03-13-2003 at 22:42:

Sretnu se Mujo i Suljo u sred pustinje. Mujo nosi telefonsku govornicu, a Suljo vrecu kamenja.
Pita Suljo Muju: "Sto ce ti, ba, telefonska govornica."
"Radi lavova", Mujo ce.
"Kako ba, radi lavova", pita Suljo.
"Fino, natjera me lav, ja spustim govornicu, udjem unutra, zatvorim se i zovem upomoc."
"A sto ce tebi, ba, vreca s kamenjima", pita Mujo sad Sulju.
"Kako sto ce mi, isto radi lavova"
"Kako to", Mujo ce.
"Natjera me lav, ja bacim vrecu i lakse mi bjezat", kaze Suljo.

Posted by Kise on 03-13-2003 at 22:43:

Razgovaraju Hrvat, Crnogorac i Mujo koje su im najvece zelje.
Kaze Crnogorac: "Da je zemlja mehka ko more, kako bi se lahko kopala".
Kaze Hrvat: "Da mi je neku veliku peglu, pa da ispeglamo ona nas hrvatska brda, koju bismo mi zemlju imali".
Ispruzi Mujo ruku i kaze: "Vidite vi ovo pazuho i ovu ruku?"
"Vidimo", kazu ovi.
"E, da mi je jos dva jaja pod pazuho, koji bi ovo kurac bio".

Posted by Kise on 03-13-2003 at 22:43:

Pjev'o Mujo za komunistickog zemana: "Pliva patka, pliva guska, bit ce ova zemlja turska".
Cula ga UDBA i strpala deset godina u przun. Izlazi Mujo nakon odlezane robije.
Ugledale ga liske i pitaju: "Mujo, hoce li ova zemlja bit turska?"
"Kad - tad", Mujo ce na to.

Posted by Kise on 03-13-2003 at 22:44:

VIC - STA VIC? ISTINA!

Odveo Hercegovac familiju na more i odluci da nauci malog sina da pliva.
Baci ga u more, a mali potone. Hercegovac ga izvuce i stavi mu naramenice za plivanje.
Baci ga u vodu, mali ponovo potone.
Stavi mu i slauf, mali ponovo potone.
Vec sav raspizdjen, stavi mu i peraje, ali mali ponovo potone.
U to ce stara nana koja sve to gleda:

"Skini mu lancic..."

Posted by Kise on 03-13-2003 at 22:44:

Bio u selu neki zajeban pijevac. Pojebo sve zivo. Koke, patke, guske, curke. Dodijo on vise gazdi, svak se tuzio na nj, pa mu poceo gazda prijetiti: "Doci ce tebi picka glave kad - tad".
Al' pijevac nista ne benda. Jednog dana ugleda gazda kako lesinari u sve nizim krugovima lete iznad jedne ledine. On dotrci tamo, kad pijevac lezi ni ziv ni mrtav.
"Rekoh li ja tebi, kad - tad", gazda ce.
"Bjezi, ziv bio, dok se ona orlusa spusti", pijevac ce.